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What Early Readers Are Saying
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So... What even IS a friend?
Try to define it. I’ll wait.
Is it someone who shows up at 2am? Okay… but what about the one you’d trust to pick up your kids from school but would never call when things fall apart? The one you’ve known for 20 years who’s somehow become a group-text acquaintance? The brand-new neighbor who you clicked with immediately?
Three examples in and your definition is probably already falling apart. Because “a friend” isn’t one thing. It never was.
And yet we’re all so focused on what’s MISSING that we miss what’s already there. The person who shows up for every parenting win. The one who texts you about the marathon training. The friend-of-a-friend who just… gets your career stuff. Individually? They might not look like “enough.” But collectively? they might already be giving you everything you need.
They were right there. We just didn’t have the words for what they could be.
The podcasts. The advice columns. The “10 ways to make more friends” listicles. All of it saying the same thing: MORE. More outreach. More effort. More putting yourself out there.
What if you didn’t need more?
What if you just needed a new way of seeing what’s already around you?
WHO IS THIS BOOK FOR?
Here’s what every other friendship book will tell you:
Women, connect with women. Moms, find your mom tribe. Men… go find a men’s group in the wilderness or something, but make more male friends.
And we keep following that advice. And we keep ending up in the same place.
This book is for the person who is done doing the same thing and expecting different results.
Not because you haven’t tried hard enough. Because nobody has ever questioned whether the advice itself was wrong.
We have been told (quietly, constantly) that only certain connections count. That you need to find your people, and your people look like you, live like you, and are in the same life stage as you. And in chasing that one specific kind of connection, we’ve walked right past the elderly neighbor, the child-free friend, the colleague who doesn’t fit neatly into any category… and we’ve called it “not finding our people.”
What if your people were already there? Just not who you expected?
This book is for anyone ready to stop sorting people into “counts” and “doesn’t count,” and start building something that actually holds.
It won’t change overnight. But give it six months? Your life will feel genuinely different.
What this book is not:
▪️A guide to finding your one perfect best friend
▪️A quick fix or a ten-step formula
▪️Dating or romantic relationship advice
▪️Just for women, just for moms, just for anyone
ARE WE FRIENDS YET?
IS FOR YOU.
This is where everything clicks:
In these pages, you will find all the frameworks and reflection tools necessary to transform your connections including:
The Wheel of Connection Framework – Map your entire support system across 7 categories (from family of origin to chosen family) so you can see exactly what you have and where you need more support
The Roots of Friendship Framework – Learn the 3 connection points that hold every friendship together, plus how to intentionally build and strengthen these roots so your relationships feel stable and lasting
Your “You Are Here” Reality Check – A complete audit of your current connections, time, boundaries, and habits to identify what’s working and what’s draining your energy
The 4 Types of Friends Breakdown – Understand exactly what role each person plays in your support system and stop expecting the wrong things from the wrong people
Strategic Relationship Building – How to deepen existing connections and identify which casual acquaintances could become real support (without the awkwardness)
The Art of Letting Go – When and how to release relationships that no longer serve you, plus scripts for difficult conversations
Chosen Family Conversations – How to have the “let’s be each other’s people” conversation with friends who could become your emergency contacts
Your 3-Month Action Plan – Turn all your insights into 1-3 sustainable actions you can repeat consistently to see real change in your support system (plus a bonus check-in process to keep building)
On the surface, this is a book about building friendships...
... But here's what it's really about:
See the full picture – Your friendships, family, chosen family, community, acquaintances. Every connection mapped out so nothing and nobody gets overlooked.
ORDER YOUR COPY TODAY
Yours FREE When You Purchase Are We Friends Yet?
Beyond the book
The Connector's Toolkit
The 12 Week Book Club – This isn’t just a reading group. It’s a structured, cohort-based experience where we walk through the book together, section by section, with accountability, encouragement, and a community of people doing the exact same work at the exact same time. Won’t be available like this again.
The Pep Talks Pack –
A private podcast with 10 audio pep talks for the moments that feel hardest. Going to a party where you don’t know anyone? Having a hard conversation with a friend? Reconnecting with someone you’ve lost touch with? I’m right there in your ear before you walk in the door.
The Book Bonus Workbook –
Cut sections from the book, and deeper dives into the frameworks, all formatted with space to actually write.
The 10-Day Connection Reset – Notice the connection opportunities already around you (without adding a single thing to your to-do list).
1 Year in The Less Lonely Club – The private community where thousands of people are implementing these ideas, sharing real wins, and crowdsourcing solutions to real friendship situations. Your people are already in there.
This bundle (including the 12-Week Book Club) is only available if you purchase before July 16th.
ORDER NOW + GET A FREE BONUS!
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A Little love from our readers
Hi. I'm Alex.
I know what it’s like to look around and feel like SOMETHING IS MISSING. You have people in your life… but you want MORE. And then immediately feel guilty about it. I already have good people. Why aren’t they enough?
Here’s what I’ve learned the hard way: we live in a world that tells you only certain connections count. The lifelong best friend. The person who knows everything about you. The one who shows up at 2am. If you don’t have THOSE PEOPLE… (well, I’ll let you fill in your own negative self talk).
In my lowest of lows, that’s the lie I had to question.
When I stopped waiting for connections to clear some invisible bar and started seeing what was actually already there? That’s when everything changed. Turns out nothing was missing. Just my perspective.
Now I get to watch people have that same realization every single day. And I promise you. It is WILD how much connection is already around you. Most people are so much further along than they think.
Psst… there’s way more where this came from
THE BOOK
ARE WE FRIENDS YET?
Your foundation. The complete framework for how connection actually works.
THE PODCAST
FRIENDSHIP IRL
Real people sharing what’s actually working (and what isn’t) in their friendships.
THE COMMUNITY
THE LESS LONELY CLUB
A community of people doing this work together. Real wins, real struggles, real support.
Want me at your next meeting?
BOOK CLUBS & GROUPS
I’m visiting up to 25 book clubs (plus community groups, friend groups, and teams) to talk about Are We Friends Yet? I’ll join over Zoom (or in person if you’re within ~90 minutes of Seattle) for a real conversation about friendship and connection. Want me at yours?
For your team, event, or whole crew
BULK ORDERS
Bulk orders are perfect for team reads, workshops, ERG programming, retreat swag, conference giveaways, or gifting the people in your world who care about connection and community. Tell me what you’re looking for and I’ll reply within 48 hours with a quote.
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FREE READING GUIDES
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