You see someone asking for money on the street corner.
Your brain immediately starts: What if they use it for drugs? What if I give it to the wrong person? Should I give cash or buy them food? What if I don’t have cash? Should I keep granola bars in my car? But what if they’re allergic to nuts?
And then the light turns green. You drive away. You did nothing.
Or maybe it’s your friend going through something hard. You want to help. But then: What should I offer? Meals? A ride? Money? What if I offer the wrong thing? What if they say no? What if it’s weird? What if I’m overstepping?
So you text “let me know if you need anything” and never follow up.
Here’s the truth: We’ve made kindness so complicated that we’ve paralyzed ourselves.
We overthink it. We wait for the perfect moment. We convince ourselves that our small act won’t matter anyway.
And in the meantime? We do nothing.
Meet Bryan Driscoll (And The Goodness Game)
Twenty years ago, Bryan Driscoll was 18, mad at his parents, and boarding a Greyhound bus to Orlando with no plan whatsoever.
This was before Uber. Before smartphones. Before you could Google “cheap hotels near me” on the bus ride down.
He showed up in Orlando with basically nothing.
He tried to get a job at Publix. Couldn’t even fill out the application because he didn’t have an address or a phone number. Found a day labor job carrying scaffolding in brutal Florida heat for $25. Which was exactly what his motel room cost. So he couldn’t eat.
Eventually, he ran out of money. He was walking to the Greyhound station, planning to sleep there, when a woman in a black Geo Tracker pulled up beside him.
She said: “It doesn’t look like you belong here. Where are you going?”
And then she took him home.
Let him stay for a couple of days. Spotted him a few hundred bucks. Shared her house with him and her oversized cat that looked like a cheetah.
Looking back, Bryan’s like: Who does that? I don’t think I would pick up a stranger, especially not with kids.
But she did. And it changed everything.
That small act (that one moment when a stranger chose to help) set off a chain of events that eventually led Bryan to create The Goodness Game, a literal framework for turning kindness into something you can practice, track, and, yes… even gamify.
He’s been on the Today Show. His movement has made national headlines. He wrote a book about it.
And that woman? She probably thinks Bryan ripped her off for $300.
She has no idea what she started.
The Problem With How We Think About Helping
Here’s what I love about Bryan’s approach: He took something we’ve made impossibly complicated and made it simple.
Because let’s be real: we’ve turned kindness into this whole THING.
We think it needs to be:
- ▪️ Big enough to matter
- ▪️ Perfectly timed
- ▪️ The exact right kind of help
- ▪️ Appreciated and acknowledged
- ▪️ Something we can sustain forever
No wonder we’re frozen.
When Bryan and I sat down to talk about The Goodness Game, he said something that really stuck with me:
“A lot of people want to do things, but everyone gets caught up in their headspace. So it’s like, okay, here’s a framework that’s really easy for anybody to find out what YOU’RE built for. Not what somebody else is built for.”
Not what you should do. Not what looks good on Instagram. Not what your friend does or what some volunteer organization needs.
What YOU’RE actually built for.
And that changes everything.
Find Your Helper Style (So You Stop Burning Out)
Bryan borrowed this concept from business. He calls it an energy audit.
Here’s how it works:
Take a piece of paper. Draw a line down the middle.
One side: What gives you energy?
One side: What takes energy away?
For a whole week, write down everything you do. If it gives you energy, it goes on the left. If it drains you, it goes on the right.
In business, the stuff on the right? That’s what you delegate. That’s what you pay someone else to do.
In The Goodness Game? Same thing.
The stuff that drains you? Stop forcing yourself to do it out of obligation.
The stuff that gives you energy? That’s your helper style. That’s where you lean in.
What This Actually Looks Like
Bryan said: “I’m not the guy to clean someone’s house. I hate cleaning. But some people are like, ‘You know what? I pop my headphones in. That’s my relaxing time.’”
Everyone’s built for something different.
Maybe you’re the:
- ▪️ Financial helper: You’ve got resources, and you’re strategic about using them
- ▪️ Empathetic helper: You’re the person people call when they need to talk
- ▪️ Sweat helper: You love physical tasks (moving furniture, yard work, building things)
- ▪️ Connecting helper: You know everyone and love making introductions
- ▪️ Thinking helper: You’re great at problem-solving and research
Bryan talked to someone yesterday who loves pets. She volunteers at an animal shelter. For her? That’s energizing.
For Bryan? He’d hate that.
And that’s the point.
When you know your helper style, you can offer it proactively. You don’t have to scramble when someone needs help. You already know what you’re good at and what you actually enjoy doing.
Why This Matters More Than You Think
Here’s what happens when you don’t know your helper style:
Someone asks for help. You say yes because you should. You resent doing it. You don’t do it well. You burn out. You stop helping altogether.
Or worse. You never offer in the first place because you’re overwhelmed by all the ways you COULD help.
But when you know your style?
Your friend’s dog gets loose? You’re the person who knows how to approach an unfamiliar dog.
Is someone staring at pet food in the grocery store, looking lost? You stop and help because you KNOW this stuff.
Your neighbor mentions their kid needs a ride? You’re already going that direction anyway. Easy yes.
It becomes automatic. It becomes easy. It becomes part of who you are.
And here’s the beautiful part: you’re not forcing it. You’re not performing. You’re just… being helpful in the ways that actually feel good to you.
Bryan’s story of how one stranger’s kindness changed his life is just the beginning. Listen to the full episode to hear how he turned that experience into a framework anyone can use.
Remove Decision Fatigue (Make Kindness Automatic)
Okay, so you know your helper style. Now what?
Now you set up systems so you don’t have to think about it.
Bryan does this with money. And honestly? It’s genius.
The “Give Account” Strategy
Every time Bryan gets a check, he holds aside a certain percentage. It goes into a separate checking account.
It’s called the give account.
He started doing this because he used to get too involved. Someone had a problem, he’d give away his money, and then he’d be screwed at the end of the month.
But now? That money just sits there. It’s not for bills. It’s not for personal expenses. It’s not his money anymore.
And here’s what’s cool: he doesn’t go looking for people to help.
“When something pops up, number one, I don’t have to think about it. That money is sitting there. It’s not coming out of my personal income. That’s what it’s for.”
Sometimes it sits there for a month. Sometimes it builds up. And then someone comes with a real problem, and he’s like: “You know what? I got you.”
No overthinking. No checking his budget. No wondering if he can afford it.
The decision is already made.
How This Applies Beyond Money
You don’t have to have a literal give account (though honestly, it’s such a good idea).
But you CAN pre-decide your yeses.
Like:
- ▪️ I always say yes to giving someone a ride if I’m going that direction anyway
- ▪️ I always stop if I see someone struggling with something physical
- ▪️ I always offer to make a meal when someone has a new baby
- ▪️ I always help if someone asks me a question about [your area of expertise]
When you pre-decide, you remove all the mental gymnastics.
You’re not sitting there going: Should I? Do I have time? Is it weird? What will they think?
You already decided. So you just do it.
Want to hear more about making kindness automatic instead of overwhelming? Tune into the complete episode for Bryan’s “give account” strategy and why helping can actually be fun.
The Part Nobody Talks About: Helping Can Be FUN
Okay, I need to tell you about the umbrella story.
Because I think we’ve made helping people feel like this heavy, serious, burden-y thing.
But what if it was actually… fun?
One day, Bryan was at the dollar store. It was pouring rain. Like, POURING. The kind where you can barely see in front of you.
He’s checking out and sees this basket full of dollar umbrellas. Just sitting there.
He bought all of them.
Threw them in his trunk. Called his buddy Sean. “Hey, dude, you want to go out and mess around and have some fun?”
Sean didn’t even know what they were doing. Just got in the car.
They drove downtown Pittsburgh, looking for people getting absolutely drenched. Sean would hop out, hand someone an umbrella, and then just… leave.
That’s it.
No big production. No waiting for a thank you. Just, “here’s an umbrella, you’re getting soaked, bye.”
Bryan said, “We were just having fun. I had 20 umbrellas. People were getting drenched. Let’s go pass them around.”
Why This Story Matters
When Bryan told me this story, I thought: This is what I would have done when I was 20.
You know… when my friends and I would just bop around in the car, music blasting, not really knowing where we were going. Just… existing together and seeing what happened.
And people are SO nostalgic for those times. But we don’t recreate them.
We’re all busy. We’ve got jobs and kids and responsibilities and volunteer positions and a million balls in the air.
But what if you just… did this?
What if you texted your friend: “I’m picking you up in 30 minutes. We’re doing something ridiculous. Trust me.”
You don’t need to sign up for a formal volunteer thing. You don’t need to coordinate schedules weeks in advance. You don’t need to make it this complicated.
You just need 30 minutes and a willingness to do something a little silly.
Hand out stress balls during rush hour. Give away flowers at the grocery store. Leave encouraging notes on car windshields. Buy a bunch of coats and drive around giving them to people who need them.
Make it a memory. Make it fun. Make it something you and your friend laugh about later.
And yeah. You’re helping people. But you’re also creating this moment of spontaneous joy that we’re all craving.
In the full episode, Bryan shares so much more about how he approaches The Goodness Game in his daily life, including how he’s teaching his kids to think about helping others through simple systems they can actually maintain. His whole philosophy of making kindness automatic rather than overwhelming is going to shift how you think about showing up.
Teaching This (Whether You Have Kids Or Not)
Quick side note: Bryan’s teaching this to his kids.
Every time they get allowance, it’s split: spend, save, give.
He took them to a food bank with their “give” money. Let them see where it went. Let them talk to the woman who explained that they can buy five bottles of peanut butter for what it costs to buy one at the grocery store.
His kids got to see: their small amount of money goes further here.
But here’s what I want you to hear: whether you have kids or not, modeling matters.
When you show up consistently in small ways, people notice. Your friends notice. Your neighbors notice. Your coworkers notice.
Bryan’s friend started losing weight. Started eating healthier. Bryan didn’t ask him about it. But seeing it made Bryan think: “You know what? I think I could do that.”
That’s the ripple.
You’re not just helping the person in front of you. You’re showing everyone around you what’s possible.
The Wildly Unbalanced Equation
Here’s something I think about a lot:
The amount of thought we put into ASKING for help versus the amount of thought we put into DOING the thing someone asked us.
When someone asks you to do something, do you spiral about it? Do you resent them? Do you think it’s a burden?
Or do you think: Oh great! I can help! This is easy!
We overthink asking. We underthink doing.
And the same thing happens in reverse.
We overthink offering help. We spiral: What if they don’t need it? What if I’m overstepping? What if they think I’m being weird?
But when someone offers to help US? We’re usually just… grateful.
So maybe (just maybe) we can extend that same grace to ourselves.
Stop overthinking. Just offer.
The Philosophy That Changes Everything
Bryan gives money to people experiencing homelessness. Every time he sees someone, he gives.
His kids ask him (like he asked his dad): “What if they buy drugs with it?”
And Bryan’s answer is perfect:
“What if 19 of them, nothing happens? But the law of large numbers: what if that $20 allowed that person to go get a pair of shoes and go get a job? What if that one act was the turning point in their life?”
Everyone has turning points. And if you look back at your life, what things did someone do that created those turning points? They were probably really small.
Maybe even insignificant to the person who did them.
But they changed your trajectory.
So Bryan just keeps doing small things. Over and over. “You’re giving jabs all the time. Eventually, you’re getting a knockout.”
You just keep showing up. Keep offering. Keep helping in the small ways.
And eventually, one of those things is going to be someone’s turning point.
You probably won’t know which one. You might never know.
But it matters anyway.
Your Turn to Play
So here’s what I actually want you to do:
Step 1: Figure out your helper style
Do the energy audit. What gives you energy? What drains you?
Write it down. Look at the pattern. What are you naturally good at AND enjoy doing?
That’s your helper style.
Step 2: Pre-decide your yeses
Based on your helper style, what are you ALWAYS going to say yes to?
Write it down. Make it a rule for yourself.
When X happens, I always do Y.
Now you don’t have to think about it. You already decided.
Step 3: Set up a system (if you can)
Maybe it’s a give account like Bryan’s. Maybe it’s keeping granola bars in your car. Maybe it’s blocking off one Saturday morning a month for “spontaneous helping.”
Make it automatic. Remove the decision fatigue.
Step 4: Do something small this week
Not something huge. Not something Instagram-worthy.
Something small. Something that takes 5 minutes or less.
Hold the door. Let someone go ahead of you in line. Text someone you’re proud of them. Leave a generous tip. Give someone a genuine compliment.
Just practice. Build the muscle.
Step 5: Make it fun
Grab a friend. Do something ridiculous. Buy all the umbrellas. Hand out flowers. Leave encouraging notes.
Make helping people something you WANT to do. Something that brings you joy.
The Impact You’ll Never See
Here’s what I keep coming back to:
That woman who picked Bryan up off the street? She has no idea.
She probably thinks about him sometimes. Wonders what happened to that kid. Maybe assumes he took her $300 and disappeared.
She doesn’t know about The Goodness Game. She doesn’t know about the Today Show. She doesn’t know about the ripple she created.
And that’s okay.
Because here’s the truth: You’ll probably never know your impact either.
That $5 you gave. That umbrella. That ride. That conversation. That text.
You won’t know which one was someone’s turning point.
But one of them might be.
And even if it’s not? Even if all you did was make someone’s day a little bit easier?
That’s enough. That’s more than enough.
The complete episode with Bryan goes so deep into his philosophy on this, including why he thinks kids are actually his primary audience for The Goodness Game and how he’s seen small acts create massive ripples in ways no one could have predicted. If you’re someone who needs permission to stop overthinking and just START, this conversation is going to give you exactly that.
One More Thing
Stop waiting for the perfect moment.
Stop waiting until you have more money, more time, more energy, more clarity.
Stop waiting until you figure out the “right” way to help.
Just pick one small thing. And do it.
Maybe it’s your turning point. Maybe it’s someone else’s.
Maybe it doesn’t matter which one it is.
Want to check out The Goodness Game? Head to goodnessgame.com. Bryan literally offers a free PDF download of the book because he cares more about spreading this message than making money. (Though obviously, support authors when you can. Go buy the book if it resonates.)
Ready to figure out YOUR helper style? Listen to the full episode. Bryan breaks down his framework in ways that will make you think differently about how you show up in the world. It’s linked in the show notes.
