I need to tell you something I haven’t said out loud yet.
You’ve been listening to episodes I recorded almost a year ago.
All year. Every episode you’ve heard in 2024… I recorded it back in October, November, December of 2023.
And I recorded them while I was insanely sick.
And I had no idea what was wrong with me.
The Secret I’ve Been Keeping
Here’s what you didn’t know about 2024:
I spent 3+ days a week in bed. Every week. All year.
Some weeks it was more. Some weeks, I couldn’t get out of bed at all.
I had migraines. Crushing fatigue. Brain fog so bad I couldn’t find words. Pain. Nausea. Dizziness.
I would wake up every morning not knowing if I’d be able to function that day.
Not knowing if I could take the meetings I needed to take. Not knowing if I could record the narration for that week’s episode. Not knowing if I could even sit upright.
And nobody knew.
I mean, my close friends knew. My husband knew. But you? The podcast audience? The broader world?
You had no idea.
Because I kept the podcast going. Every single week. Without missing one.
And here’s how I did it.
The 50-Episode Recording Marathon (While Feeling Terrible)
Let me take you back to the end of 2023.
I was starting to feel really bad. Like, worse than I’d felt in a while.
And I had this intuition (I don’t know if it was intuition or just preparation or what), but I had this feeling:
I need to record as many episodes as possible right now.
So I went on an absolute recording spree.
In October, November, and December of 2023, I recorded almost 50 episodes.
Fifty episodes in three months.
I had asked for podcast guests earlier that year and gotten 120+ inquiries. I invited 58 people to record.
And I recorded with almost all of them in those three months.
If you go back and look at the videos of those episodes (which I probably should have taken down by now) I look like I’m dying in some of them.
Because I was pushing so, so hard through how bad I felt.
But I did it. I recorded 50 episodes.
And that’s what saved me this year.
What You’ve Actually Been Listening To
Every episode you heard in 2024?
I recorded it in late 2023.
The interviews were done. The bulk of the content was there.
All I had to do in 2024 was the narration.
The intro. The outro. The little pieces I add throughout.
That’s it.
And even that (finding a 2-3 hour window in my week when I felt well enough to do the narration) was almost impossible some weeks.
But I would push through. I would find the window. I would record it.
And then I’d send it off to my podcast team.
And here’s where I need to give a massive shoutout: my podcast team at Podcasting for Creatives.
They do everything else. The editing. The show notes. Getting it listed. All of it.
I literally just send them the raw files, and they handle the rest.
Without them, this podcast would not have kept going this year. I’m not exaggerating.
So that’s how I did it. That’s how I kept this podcast going while secretly struggling all year.
I recorded ahead. I had an amazing team. And I barely, barely held on.
What I Stopped Doing (Everything Else)
Here’s what else you need to know:
The podcast was the ONLY plate I kept spinning this year.
Everything else? Stopped.
Social media? Stopped. I wasn’t posting clips. I wasn’t sharing episodes. I wasn’t engaging.
Guest appearances on other podcasts? Stopped.
PR and press? Stopped.
Creating new content, freebies, guides? Stopped.
Everything that wasn’t “record the narration and send it to my team”? Stopped.
I didn’t have the capacity for anything else.
And honestly, I’m shocked I even had the capacity for that.
The Diagnoses (The Trio of Chronic Illnesses)
So what was actually wrong with me?
I finally got answers in early November.
After years (YEARS) of struggling and not knowing what was happening, I found a doctor who could actually help me.
And it turns out I have three chronic illnesses:
1. Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (EDS)
This one I already suspected. I’d been acting as if I had it for a while, making accommodations, modifying my life.
So that diagnosis wasn’t shocking. It was more like: “Oh yeah, okay, cool. Now I can officially get treatment.”
2. Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS)
This is the one that was crushing me. This is why I was in bed 3+ days a week.
Basically, my innate immune system is attacking itself.
I have triggers. And they’re constantly changing and completely random.
Things that shouldn’t be triggers at all. Things that make no sense.
I’d go to the doctor and get allergy tested, and they’d say: “You’re not allergic to any of these things.”
And yet they were making me feel terrible.
Example: I’d eat a tomato. My body would call the SWAT team for no reason. And I’d feel sick for multiple days.
Migraines. Fatigue. Brain fog. Nausea. Pain. All from a tomato.
Or a banana. Or broth. Or avocado. Or strawberries.
Weird, random things I couldn’t predict.
I never knew what would trigger a reaction. I never knew if I’d wake up functional or completely wiped out.
That was my entire 2024.
3. Dysautonomia (POTS)
This one I didn’t even realize I had.
Honestly, it’s the one I know the least about. I’m not even going to try to explain it.
But apparently I have it. And I’m dealing with it now, too.
In the full episode, I share much more about each diagnosis and what it was like to finally get answers after years of not knowing what was wrong. If you or someone you love is navigating chronic illness, hearing the full story might help you feel less alone in it.
What It Was Actually Like
Let me paint you a picture of what my days looked like this year:
I would wake up not knowing if I could function.
Some days I’d feel okay for a few hours. Then suddenly… boom. Migraine. Or crushing fatigue. Or brain fog so bad I couldn’t think.
I couldn’t plan anything. I couldn’t commit to anything.
Because I didn’t know if I’d actually be able to show up.
I’d have to cancel meetings. Cancel plans. Cancel everything.
I was in survival mode. All year.
Just trying to get through each day. Just trying to keep the one thing (the podcast) going.
That’s it. That’s all I could do.
And even that felt impossible most of the time.
The November Turning Point
Early November, everything changed.
I found a doctor who actually knew what was wrong with me.
Who could diagnose me. Who could treat me.
Who could give me answers after YEARS of not knowing.
And with those answers came treatment. Medications. Supplements. New practices.
And for the first time in years, I started to feel better.
Not perfect. Not healed. But better.
I went from not knowing if I could get through a day to… actually being able to plan things.
I went from being in bed 3+ days a week to maybe 1-2 days.
I went from waking up terrified of what the day would bring to… actually trusting I could function.
It’s been a month and a half. And it’s already life-changing.
I’m still very new to all of this. Still figuring it out. Still adjusting.
But I finally have hope.
What the Podcast Did Anyway (Despite Everything)
Here’s the wild part:
The podcast grew this year.
Even though I stopped doing all the traditional marketing. Even though I wasn’t on social media. Even though I wasn’t doing guest appearances or PR.
It grew anyway.
I was just looking at the metrics, and here’s what I found:
138 countries. People are listening from 138 different countries.
3,944 cities. Almost 4,000 cities around the world.
Only 5% of listeners are from Seattle. Which means 95% of you found me some other way.
Through podcast app searches. Through word of mouth. Through… I don’t even know.
But you found me. And you kept listening.
And I’m so, so grateful for that.
Because honestly, this podcast was the one thing that kept me going this year.
Knowing that every week, I just had to find that 2-3 hour window to record the narration. That was my goal. That was what I was working toward.
And the fact that it kept growing (that people kept finding it and subscribing and sharing it) that meant everything.
I go even deeper into what this year was really like in the complete episode, including the moments I almost stopped and what kept me going. If you’re in a season where you’re barely holding it together, listen here. I think it’ll help.
What Else I Kept Going (Barely)
The podcast wasn’t the only thing I kept going this year.
My friendships. Always.
I’ve had so many beautiful friendship moments this year. People I’ve been friends with for a really long time, with whom I’ve gotten closer.
Friendships that evolved. Friendships that came back. Amazing memories made.
Friendship was my constant.
I just did what I could. And my friends showed up for me in ways I can’t even fully express.
They’re the reason I made it through this year.
Also, We moved this year.
Yeah. In the middle of all of this, we moved to a new place.
And I’m proud of myself for making it through that.
Because moving is always a huge time suck. Always exhausting.
But we did it. And we’re so happy in our new place.
So those were the plates I kept spinning: Podcast. Friends. The move.
That’s it. That’s all I had capacity for.
What 2025 Looks Like (And Why I’m Excited)
Okay, so where does that leave us as we head into 2025?
I haven’t done my full year-end reflection yet. I use this amazing exercise called Year Compass (yearcompass.com). Highly recommend.
But I can tell you this: 2025 feels different.
Doors are closing on 2024. Long-standing things I’ve been dealing with feel like they have closure.
And I’m ready for what’s next.
Here’s what’s coming:
1. Getting My Health On Lock
This is priority #1.
I’m going to do what the doctor says. We’re going to get to a stable place.
And honestly, I’m already exponentially more stable than I was.
I went from not knowing if I could function each day to… actually trusting that most days, I can get a chunk of work done.
That’s huge.
I still have bad days. But they’re less frequent. And I can usually predict them now.
So health first. Always.
2. Rebuilding Community
My friendships are in a great place. But I need community again.
I stepped away from things this year because I didn’t have the capacity.
Toastmasters? Had to step back. I couldn’t show up most weeks, and when I could, I wasn’t prepared.
The local community pool and aquatics classes? Fell off my radar.
I need to find community again. Maybe a walking group. Maybe something else. I’m not sure yet.
But that’s a priority for 2025.
3. Releasing All the 75%-Done Content
Here’s something wild:
I have an entire set of things that are 75% done.
Freebies. Guides. Audio guides. Things you’ve asked for. Things you want.
And they’ve just been sitting here. Because I didn’t have capacity to finish them.
So in Q1 of 2025, I’m not creating anything new.
I’m just going to release everything that’s already 75% done.
It’s going to feel rapid-fire. But take what you need.
Because it’s all been sitting here waiting. And it’s time to get it out.
4. The Book Is Coming
If you’ve been wondering where the book is: it’s 90% done.
It’s right there. Almost finished.
And a big reason I haven’t finished the last 10% is that I know I’ll want to put it out there when it’s done.
And I haven’t had the capacity for the podcast interviews, promos, social media, and all the other things.
But the book is coming. 2025. It’s happening.
I promise. [NARRATOR: It did not happen in 2025, but it is done! Sign up for my newsletter to be the first to hear.]
5. Being More Connected to You
I want to be more engaged with you all in 2025.
One way: social media. I’m coming back. I’m rejoining the conversation.
But also: I want to create more spaces for us to actually connect.
I’ve considered a few options:
- ▪️ A Facebook group
- ▪️ Substack (mainly for the comment section)
- ▪️ Open Zoom spaces where I show up live
- ▪️ Going live on social platforms where we can message in real time
I don’t know the answer yet. But I want to try some things.
And I need your help figuring out what you actually want.
6. Making the Podcast More Intentional
The podcast kept going this year. And I’m so proud of that.
But 2025? I want to be more intentional.
Not overhauling it. The podcast is continuing as it is.
But I want to make some changes. And I need your input.
The Survey (I Need Your Help)
Here’s the thing:
I think a lot of you mainly hang out with me here on the podcast.
You’re not necessarily on my email list. You’re not following me on social media.
You found me through the podcast app. You subscribed. And you’re here.
And because the podcast was the one plate I kept spinning, I want to give you (the actual podcast listeners) a chance to shape what comes next.
So I’m putting a link to a survey in the show notes.
Here’s what I promise: It will take under 2 minutes.
It’s mostly “this or that” questions. A couple of places to type if you want. And a space for longer feedback if you want to give it.
But you don’t have to. 2 minutes, and you’re done.
What I Want to Know:
Do you actually want more solo episodes? Because when I look at the metrics, solo episodes get the most listens. But I don’t know if that’s because you genuinely prefer them or because the titles are catchier.
Do you want me to batch topics? Like, spend an entire month on mutual aid. Or parents and friendships. Or chronic illness. Or do you want me to keep mixing topics?
What topics do you want me to cover? Just tell me. What are you struggling with? What do you want to hear about?
That’s basically it. Super simple. But it will really help me shape 2025.
So please, if you have 2 minutes, fill it out. Link in the show notes.
What I’m Most Excited About
You know what I keep thinking about?
Imagine if I actually had 20-40 hours a week to work on this stuff.
This year, I had maybe… 5 hours? On a good week?
And the podcast still grew. To 138 countries. Without any marketing.
So what happens when I’m actually well? When I have actual capacity? When I can do the social media and the PR and the guest appearances and all of it?
I’m so excited to find out.
And I’m so grateful you’re here for it.
Some Other Things Coming (That I Can’t Share Yet)
I also have some business things happening in the background that I can’t talk about yet.
But I’m really, really excited about them.
And hopefully I’ll be able to share more soon.
2025 is going to be good. I can feel it.
What I Want You to Know
2024 was a whirlwind.
Most of my time went to just… lying in bed. Trying to survive.
But I kept the podcast going. Every single week.
And you kept listening. You kept finding it. You kept sharing it.
And that meant everything to me.
So thank you. Thank you for being here. Thank you for listening.
Thank you for giving me a reason to keep going when everything else felt impossible.
2025 is going to be different.
I’m getting my health stable. I’m releasing all the things. I’m reconnecting with you.
And I finally have hope again.
So here’s to closing out 2024 with ease. Here’s to a beautiful start to 2025.
And here’s to whatever we create together next.
Tune into the full episode to hear everything I couldn’t fit into this post, including what 2025 looks like from here and how you can help shape what comes next.
