What if rejection isn’t about YOU at all?
What if every time you feel rejected — whether it’s a job application, a text that goes unanswered, a neighbor who doesn’t smile back — it’s not actually YOU being rejected?
What if it’s just your OFFER being rejected?
That single reframe changes everything.
And it’s exactly what Tanesha L. Moody discovered when she found herself drowning in rejection from every direction: job applications after being laid off, dating app swipes, distant friends who didn’t respond to her texts.
Instead of retreating, she got curious. And what she discovered transformed how she approaches rejection, relationships, and showing up in general.
Tanesha is a speaker, writer, and founder of Full Out Coaching. Her background is anything but traditional — she went from calling cues as a professional theatre stage manager to leading global events for companies like Under Armour, Disney, and Salesforce. Today, she helps individuals and teams navigate rejection, reinvention, and leadership with honesty and heart.
In this episode, we dive into a reframe that will change how you see every interaction. We talk about micro-rejections, rejection parties, and how seeking out rejection DAILY can make you braver and more connected.
By the end, you might be seeking out rejection and setting your own daily rejection goals.
When Rejection Comes From Every Direction
Tanesha’s rejection journey started at a time when it felt like rejections were coming from EVERYWHERE.
Career rejection: being laid off from a job she thought she’d be at for years, putting out job applications that went unanswered, getting super far in interviews only to hear “Oh, we have to pivot.”
Dating rejection: going through a breakup, hitting the dating apps, swiping right on people and hearing nothing back.
And THEN, on top of all that… friendship rejection: feeling like some friendships were distant, reaching out to people and not hearing back.
“It felt so heavy. It felt so personal. It felt like, goodness, is it me? And I was just so tired of it honestly. Dealing with that disappointment, the hurt, the sadness.”
That exhaustion, that “is it me?” spiral — if you’ve been there, you KNOW that feeling.
(Side note: I was literally having those EXACT thoughts the night before we recorded this conversation. At like 3am. Wide awake. Spiraling. So yeah, this hit close to home.)
The full episode goes so much deeper into Tanesha’s journey.
The Micro-Rejections We Experience All Day Long
It’s such a MIX of big rejections (getting laid off) and tiny micro-rejections (a friend not responding to a text).
But when you’re in it, those micro-rejections can feel just as big as a layoff.
Here’s how Tanesha defines rejection:
“Anytime you put something out there — an offer — and you hear no when the answer could have been yes, that to me is rejection.”
An OFFER. That’s the keyword here.
So what counts as a micro-rejection?
“I smiled at my neighbor today and they didn’t smile back. You put out an offer into the world and you got a no. That’s a micro-rejection.”
Or this one (which really got me): “Maybe you say something in the group chat with your friends, or you’re out at happy hour, and there’s no response to it.”
When she phrased it that way, I realized: we really ARE experiencing rejection all day long.
Or we’re NOT… because we’re holding back.
I can think of SO many times I’ve thought about sending something in a group text and then DIDN’T because I didn’t know how it would be responded to.
And that’s the thing about micro-rejections: they’re small individually, but they ADD UP.
They make us hold back in all these tiny moments of connection. And over time, we stop putting offers out there at all.
There’s so much more in the full episode about recognizing micro-rejections.
The Reframe That Changes Everything
Okay, so we’re all experiencing rejection constantly.
That’s… kind of depressing, right?
But here’s where Tanesha’s reframe comes in.
(She’s a trained dancer, and “full out” in dance means you bring your WHOLE self — not just marking the steps. She once ran into a piano going full out, so yeah, she commits.)
“I had to first understand that rejection is not personal. It’s not about me. It’s not a no to me. It’s a no to my OFFER. They’re not rejecting me. They’re rejecting the offer.”
Say you smile at someone in a coffee shop, and they don’t smile back.
That person isn’t rejecting YOU. They probably don’t have any thoughts about you at all.
They’re rejecting your OFFER of connection.
That’s IT.
And suddenly, it’s not so heavy anymore.
This reframe is EVERYTHING. Tune into the full episode.
A New Way to Talk to Your Friends About Hurt Feelings
Here’s a phrase I want us all to stick in our back pocket:
“I felt like you rejected my offer.”
Instead of “I felt like you rejected ME.”
When we separate the offer from ourselves, it becomes SO much easier to be curious.
Your friend feels less defensive when you say “my offer” because that might actually be TRUE. They had a headache. They’re watching their budget. They’re trying to get to sleep earlier to meet their health goals.
That’s not about you. They just rejected that specific offer.
Tanesha told me that sharing this reframe with her friends has actually DEEPENED her relationships.
“Being willing to put that out there, to be vulnerable in that space with them, has allowed them to do the same thing with me.”
And when you can talk openly about rejection with your friends?
“It feels like rejection kind of loses its power a little bit.”
In the full episode, we go deeper into how this language shift can transform your friendships.
Rejection Parties: Yes, Really
Okay, this is my FAVORITE part.
Tanesha told me about a group of PhD students who were all submitting articles to academic journals.
Getting rejected is WAY more common than getting accepted. But everyone wanted to look like they had it all together, so nobody talked about their rejections.
Until one woman created a text group where they would text each other EVERY SINGLE TIME they got rejected.
And they would CELEBRATE the rejection.
Not in a “let’s pretend this doesn’t hurt” way. But in a “you took the risk, you put the offer out there, and that’s worth celebrating” way.
Tanesha calls these “rejection parties.”
“There’s so much to celebrate from a rejection. You have DATA now. You have information. There’s gratitude in rejection. There’s learning in rejection. There’s growth on the other side of that rejection.”
And here’s what I realized: rejection could be such a COMMUNITY BUILDER.
Think about it. You could create a rejection text thread with a friend from one area of your life, an old classmate in the same field, one of your oldest, closest friends, a group of parents, or anyone on any sort of goal or journey.
Because rejection is a universal unifier.
The full episode has so much more about how to create these rejection communities.
How to Create a Safe Space for Rejection Stories
If you want to create a rejection text thread or rejection party, here’s Tanesha’s advice:
Have ground rules up front. Reinforce that YOU were not rejected, your OFFER was.
Invite vulnerability. “Here are the emotions that came up with it.”
Be curious. That curiosity piece is what helps us all move forward.
Have fun with it. Fun emojis and memes on deck to infuse more celebration into it.
There are SO many ways you could structure this. A career rejection group. A dating rejection group. A parenting rejection group. Anywhere you’re making change. Or honestly, anywhere you just EXIST.
Seeking Out Rejection Daily
Tanesha doesn’t just ACCEPT rejection when it happens. She actively SEEKS IT OUT.
Every. Single. Day.
In her friendships? She reaches out via text. Even on days when the person might not be able to do something.
In her business? Pitching to dream clients. Cold calling. Sending emails.
And here’s her favorite approach when she’s afraid:
“I will push submit and then I’ll run away. Every time. Or I’ll run and grab a glass of wine. But really, push send and run away.”
I LOVE this because it’s so honest.
She’s not pretending she’s fearless.
She allows herself to be a little scared. Feel the feelings. Run away if needed.
But she DOES THE THING FIRST.
She hits submit. She sends the text. She makes the offer.
The full episode goes deeper into how seeking out rejection daily has changed Tanesha’s life.
The Most Surprising Outcome
She wrote a blog post called “Rejection Advice That Sucks,” where she calls out all the usual platitudes.
Like “just build tough skin” or “rejection is just redirection.”
She HATES that last one.
“I’m not a huge fan of that because it makes it feel like I’m not already on the right path. Which I am.”
She compares it to a Tough Mudder race.
“This IS the path. You have to run through the mud. You have to navigate all of those obstacles. You have to overcome them.”
Rejection isn’t a REDIRECTION. It’s part of the PATH.
“Rejection is something that is really sent to help me. It’s information. It is the gift.”
And the ripple effects go beyond rejection. “If I can do this with rejection, then I can do that with fear. What is fear trying to teach me?”
That’s the real power of this reframe. It doesn’t just change how you see rejection. It changes how you see EVERYTHING.
Where People Get Stuck
I asked Tanesha where she sees most people getting stuck.
Her answer: defining what was actually rejected.
“Our default is to go straight to it was ME. It was me that was rejected.”
And separating the offer from your core self is what allows you to move forward without carrying the weight of “I am fundamentally unlovable” or “something is wrong with me.”
The offer was rejected. Not you.
One Way to Start Practicing This Reframe
“I believe it starts with curiosity. Being curious about: What was the offer that I made? What offers do I want to make? What feelings are coming up? And who do I want to be the next time a rejection experience happens?”
Be curious. Ask yourself those questions.
And here’s the key: ANSWER them.
“Don’t just ask yourself. You gotta answer them too.”
What I’m Taking Away
I have to be honest: this conversation came at exactly the right moment for me.
I was literally lying awake the night before we recorded this, spiraling about all the ways I’ve been holding back because I didn’t want people to say no.
I didn’t want people to laugh that I was even asking, if I’m being honest.
Rejection transforms from this isolating, shame-filled experience into something that actually BRINGS US TOGETHER.
If we’re all getting rejected in big and small ways every day, why are we hiding it from each other?
So what are we all doing after this episode?
We’re going to start getting really curious about our rejected offers.
We’re going to start seeking out rejection.
We’re going to notice the micro-rejections and try to reframe them.
And maybe — just maybe — we’re going to create some rejection parties.
Because rejection is a universal unifier. And we don’t have to carry it alone.
Remember: you’re not being rejected. Your OFFER is.
And there’s a big difference.
This entire conversation with Tanesha is so rich and full of reframes I needed to hear (and I bet you do too). Listen to the full episode.
