You know that moment when you see two friends at dinner absolutely losing it laughing? Or your coworker won’t stop talking about this amazing trip they’re taking with their friend group? Or you’re scrolling Instagram, watching everyone’s highlight reels of their big friend gatherings?
And you’re sitting there thinking: Okay, but how did they actually MEET these people?
Maybe you assume they’ve known each other since college. Or childhood. Or through work. And sure, sometimes that’s true. But here’s what nobody talks about: people are making new friends all the time. At every age. In every life stage.
The question isn’t whether it’s possible to make friends as an adult. The question is: why does it feel so impossibly hard?
I recently sat down with Georgia Huntley, the founder of Friends of Friends, a speed-friending event in Guelph, Ontario. And she said something that completely reframed how I think about adult friendship: We’re treating friendship like it should just happen, when what we actually need is to practice the skill of connecting.
Let that sit with you for a minute.
We’ve Been Approaching This All Wrong
Here’s the script most of us are following: Show up somewhere. Hope we click with someone instantly. If we don’t? Assume we’re just bad at making friends and give up.
But Georgia’s hosted 26 speed friending events (yes, you read that right: TWENTY-SIX), and she’s watched hundreds of people practice this skill. And you know what she’s learned?
“People put a lot of pressure on themselves,” she told me. “They think, ‘I don’t know if I’m going to make a friend.’ But I always ask them: how excited would you be to just have a fun night? If you had good conversations, how would that feel? If someone was excited to talk to you, how would that feel?”
The shift here is massive. We’re so focused on the OUTCOME (making a friend) that we forget about the PRACTICE (learning how to connect).
And here’s the truth: you’re probably not bad at friendship. You’ve just never been taught how to practice it.
The Framework That Changes Everything
Georgia shared something with me that I think is going to revolutionize how you approach every social interaction. She calls it being both interested AND interesting.
Let’s break this down, because it’s deceptively simple but incredibly powerful.
Being Interested: The Art of Genuine Curiosity
Being interested means showing up with real curiosity about the person in front of you. It means asking questions. Not to fill awkward silence, but because you actually want to understand why this person is the way they are.
“When you’re curious in a genuine way, it takes the pressure off of you,” Georgia explained. “You’re really just there to ask questions. You’re more active in your listening. When someone stops talking, you’re not just trying to fill the space. You’re actually following up with a question.”
Think about how often we do the opposite. Someone mentions something, and instead of digging deeper, we just move on. Oh, you went hiking last weekend? Cool. So anyway…
But what if you asked: Where did you go? What made you want to do that? Were you terrified at any point?
Suddenly, you’re not just making small talk. You’re learning about what drives this person, what excites them, what scares them.
Being Interesting: Sharing What Makes You, You
Now, being interesting doesn’t mean you need to be the most fascinating person in the room (thank god, right?). It means being willing to share your own experiences, perspectives, and yes, even your niche interests.
Georgia put it perfectly: “When you learn these really cool facts about people, it doesn’t just sit with you. If someone tells you something that ignites them, you start wondering: what would ignite ME that way?”
Here’s what I love about this: being interesting isn’t about performing. It’s about being genuine enough to share what actually matters to you, even if it seems random or niche.
Because here’s the thing: when someone shares their passion for something (fountain pens, Greek mythology, podiatry surgery videos… yes, I have a friend who watches those), it opens doors. Maybe you discover a shared interest. Maybe you learn something completely new. Maybe their story awakens something in you that you didn’t even know was there.
In the full episode, Georgia goes much deeper into how these two elements work together, and honestly? Her examples of how curiosity expands your entire world might completely shift how you think about the people around you. It’s worth the listen.
Why This Works (Even When It Feels Scary)
Let’s be real: the idea of speed friending might sound terrifying at first. I get it. Walking into a room full of strangers with the explicit purpose of making connections? Yikes.
But here’s what makes Georgia’s approach so brilliant. And why this framework works whether you’re at a formal speed friending event or just trying to connect at your kid’s soccer game:
The stakes are actually really low.
Think about it. In a networking event, there’s pressure to make a business connection that serves you somehow. In speed dating, you might feel like you need to find “the one.” But in speed friending? You’re just trying to find people who also like talking about dogs. Or sunsets. Or trains. Or bird watching.
There’s no performance pressure. There’s no “right” outcome. You’re just… practicing.
“You’re there to experiment,” Georgia reminded me. “How do you want to engage with people today? It’s pretty low-key.”
Georgia’s framework for connection goes even deeper than this. Listen to the full episode to hear how she’s helped hundreds of people practice this skill at her speed friending events.
The Part Nobody Talks About: Age Doesn’t Matter
Here’s something fascinating about Georgia’s events: her attendees range from age 20 to age 50. And you know what? The curious people connect regardless of age.
When I asked Georgia if she noticed differences in how people showed up based on their age, she said something that stopped me in my tracks:
“Are you a learner or not? The people who are interested have put themselves on a personal development journey, whether they realize it or not. They don’t have to be 20 to captivate someone’s interest.”
I’ve experienced this in my own friendships. Some of my closest friends are 15+ years older than me, and I’m absolutely rabid to learn from their life experience. But I also have friends in their early twenties who approach life with this freedom and willingness to try things that I find completely fascinating.
No one human’s existence has been the same. Everyone’s values have been formed through different experiences. And you can’t duplicate that for anybody.
So yeah, everyone is interesting. The question is: are you curious enough to find out how?
What This Looks Like in Practice
Okay, so how do you actually DO this? How do you practice being interested and interesting without it feeling forced or weird?
Let me paint you a picture of what happens at one of Georgia’s events, because even if you never attend a speed friending night, there’s so much to learn here.
When people walk into Friends of Friends, they grab a drink, and Georgia does an icebreaker game (my personal favorite: a rock-paper-scissors tournament where the losers become cheerleaders for the winners (genius, right?)). Then everyone sits at tables that are labeled with topics: music, pop culture, nature, hobbies, cars, tech, and travel.
Already, the pressure is off. You’re not trying to figure out what to talk about. There are prompts on the table to guide conversation. You’re not wondering if you’ll find common ground. You literally chose a table based on a shared interest.
Then they talk for 20 minutes. That’s it. No expectation to become best friends. No pressure to exchange numbers. Just 20 minutes of practicing curiosity.
And here’s what’s wild: after 26 events, Georgia has a core group of “OGs” who formed their own trivia night. Every single week, they meet up. And they invite new people from speed friending to join them.
The complete episode explores how this organic community formed and why the trivia setup specifically is so brilliant for discovering random things about people, like who’s secretly a film buff or who wanted to be a marine biologist as a kid. If you’re curious about what sustainable friendship-building actually looks like, Georgia breaks it down beautifully.
They also have a Discord group where people stay connected between events. Someone asks, “Who’s going to trivia?” and it just… happens. No one person is carrying it. It rotates naturally.
This is what happens when you take the pressure off and just practice showing up.
The Seattle Freeze and Other Friendship Myths
I live in Seattle, and we’re notorious for something called the “Seattle Freeze.” The idea is that people here will tell you they’re going to trivia… but they won’t actually invite you. They’ll be friendly to your face but never follow through.
When I mentioned this to Georgia, she said something I really needed to hear: “It’s a choice.”
Ouch. But also… yes.
Look, I know different cities have different cultures. I know some places make it easier than others. But at the end of the day, if you want friendships that go deeper than surface-level pleasantries, you have to choose to show up. You have to choose to be curious. You have to choose to practice.
And sometimes that means being the person who says, “Hey, I’m going to trivia on Thursday. Want to come?” Even if (especially if) that feels vulnerable.
There’s so much more to unpack about overcoming the myths that keep us from connecting. Tune into the complete episode for Georgia’s insights on age, vulnerability, and getting out of your own way.
Getting Out of Your Own Way
Here’s where I need to give you some tough love for a second.
Georgia mentioned something that I think stops SO many people: “We make assumptions before we test an idea out. We assume that Mandy’s not going to get along with Caitlin. Like, I just know it. But have you tried? Have you put them in a room together?”
How many times have you done this? Decided someone wouldn’t be interested in being your friend before you even tried? Assumed two people in your life wouldn’t click, so you never introduced them? Convinced yourself you’re “not good at this” without actually practicing?
“You could just have a bias that you don’t realize you have,” Georgia said. “If you have a common likeness to someone and then a common likeness to someone else, that’s sometimes enough to get people together. You just say, yeah, try it out. No pressure. They don’t get along? That’s quite all right. You gave it a go.”
The vulnerability of trying (of hosting that dinner party, of inviting someone to coffee, of showing up to that event alone) actually deepens your friendships. Even if it doesn’t work out the way you hoped.
Because you tried. And that matters.
Your Turn to Practice
So here’s what I actually want you to do this week (yes, I’m giving you homework):
Pick one interaction where you’re going to practice being both interested AND interesting.
Maybe it’s:
- ▪️ That parent at pickup you always chat with but never ask deeper questions
- ▪️ Your coworker who mentioned they’re into something you know nothing about
- ▪️ The person at your book club who seems cool but you’ve never talked to beyond book discussion
- ▪️ A friend-of-a-friend you could invite to something casual
Go into it with genuine curiosity. Ask follow-up questions. Dig a little deeper than usual. And share something real about yourself. Not your highlight reel, but something you’re actually interested in or working through.
Don’t put pressure on it to turn into a best friendship. Just practice the skill.
Because here’s what Georgia wants you to know: “Just go in assuming that the people there want to be your friends and then have fun chatting. Take the pressure off.”
The Bigger Picture
I think what Georgia is doing with Friends of Friends is so much bigger than speed friending events. She’s creating a space where people can practice connection without the weight of expectation. Where being curious is celebrated. Where showing up is enough.
And honestly? We all need more of that.
Whether or not you attend a speed-friending event, you can take this framework into every interaction. You can choose to be more interested. You can choose to share what makes you interesting. You can choose to treat friendship-making as a practice instead of a performance.
I share so much more in the full episode about what sustainable friendship-building actually looks like, including Georgia’s insights on why diverse friendships (like someone who summits mountains when you’d rather kayak) actually make your world bigger. Her perspective on approaching connection as a skill you build might completely change how you show up in every social situation.
Because the truth is: you’re never too old to make new friends. You’re never too busy to practice curiosity. And you’re definitely not bad at this.
You just need to give yourself permission to practice.
One Last Thing
Before you go, I want you to ask yourself this:
Where could you practice being interested and interesting this week? What’s one low-stakes interaction where you could show up with genuine curiosity?
Maybe it’s not a formal event. Maybe it’s just your Tuesday morning coffee run or your Thursday night yoga class. Maybe it’s finally reaching out to that person you keep meaning to connect with.
Start small. Start curious. And trust that the practice adds up.
Ready to hear the full conversation with Georgia? [Listen to the complete episode here] and subscribe to Friendship IRL wherever you get your podcasts. Because this conversation about what it really means to practice connection? It’s just getting started.
And if you’re in Guelph, Ontario? Go check out Friends of Friends. Tell Georgia I sent you.
