I used to get a little out of control with goal setting each year, thinking everything was going to be different overnight. But of course, real life isn’t like that!
In this episode, I want to talk about friendship communities and how to improve them in small, sustainable ways this year. What are the ways we can check in with ourselves? What are the factors – actions, habits, everyday changes – we can alter to improve our relationships in 2023?
You’ll also get a sneak peek of my new book (well … an abbreviated version, anyway!) and I hope that once you employ the advice in this episode, you feel like you’re on your way to impact change in your life and become the person you want to be.
Thank you so much for being here on this adventure with me. I’m really excited about 2023 and all that’s ahead of us.
In this episode you’ll hear about:
- Using a “word of the year” to set goals and create a friendship vision for the new year
- Three check-ins to find those small, everyday habits that will get you closer to your new year vision
- Focusing in on time, including habits and boundaries; what can you add/trade/cut?
- Different ways you can show up for friends this year (running errands, answering questions, making introductions, cooking, etc.)
- How to cut out the “admin time” in terms of get-togethers and be more present
- Simplifying and auditing communication so it actually works for you and your people
What are your friendship goals for the new year?
Notable Quotes from Alex:
“Is it actually that you don’t have time to spend with friends? Or is it the admin time? Because if it’s the admin time, you can create recurring ways to spend time with friends. You call each other the first Monday of the month on your drive home. Or you just pick three restaurants and rotate through them every time you meet up. You call each other when you’re grocery shopping. Make a system for it, and cut out the admin time.”
“If we focus more on what we can add to this area of our life, then the things that we don’t want will just start to fall away because we will have less time and less energy for those things. They won’t be as present and in our view. Instead, these new things that we are adding will be where our attention is.”
Resources & Links
Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!
Want to explore different ways to check in? I love Year Compass and Level 10 Life from Silk and Sonder.
Leave Alex a voicemail!
Looking to Improve Your Social Wellness?
@itsalexalexander Reply to @jayceerose17 BTW — Work friends are often defined friends. Be sure to come back for that video. #friendshipadvice ♬ original sound – Alex | Community + Friendship
Until next time…
Take the conversation beyond the new podcast on friendship! Follow Alex on Instagram (@itsalexalexander) or Tiktok (@itsalexalexander), or send her a voice message directly with all your friendship thoughts, problems, and triumphs by heading to AlexAlex.chat and hitting record.
Podcast Intro 00:02
All right, gang. Here’s to nights that turn into mornings and friends that turn in family. Cheers.
Podcast Intro 00:18
Hello, hello, and welcome to the Friendship IRL podcast. I’m your host, Alex Alexander. My friends, they would tell you I like to ask the hard questions. You know who I am in the group? I’m the person that’s saying, “Okay, I’m going to ask this question, but don’t feel like you have to answer it.” And now, I can be that friend for you too.
Alex Alexander 00:50
We are back. Hope everyone had a lovely holiday season. It was full of people that felt great. Made a lot of memories, or maybe did something fun. Hopefully got some rest. And that what the holiday season is all about. Now, I am jumping in on that new year’s trend. But don’t run, don’t run, don’t run. This is not new year, new you. We are just talking about friendship community, how are you going to make an impact on this area of your life this year, hopefully in a very small, sustainable way? A way that doesn’t feel overwhelming. But I would venture to say that when people sit down to consider the new year, do a reset, check in, they don’t really check in quite often on this area of life. You know, I will say I am a check-in, set-your-goals kind of person. I used to do this out of control. Goal setting every year, you know, just thinking everything was going to be different. And you can do a lot in a year. I just got wild. And because I’m a lover of doing these check ins and these goals, and I know not everyone is, by the way. I know not everyone is. I’ve done all sorts of different methods, I suppose. You know, I actually shared this was somebody the other day. There is a free check in. This is a longer one. It’s called YearCompass. And if you like this kind of thing, I’d recommend it. It really makes you realize how much you have done in the last year. forces you to kind of break it down into different areas of your life, and then look at the next year. I did that this year, it’s been a few years. It’s a free download. You don’t even have put your email in. One of my other favorites is called ’10 areas of life’. we’ll put in the show notes. Basically, there are just 10 categories. Friends/family, romantic relationship, career/education, mental health, physical health, finances, spiritual health, personal development, giving and contributions and fun and play. I don’t know where I found out about this one, but this is great, well, for anybody. But especially if you are not a big goal setting check in type person. I’ve told a few people this, they’ve done it. They like it because you literally just sit down and instinctually, 1 through 10 and each of these categories of life. And then whatever categories seem like they aren’t really where you want them to be, you can focus your energy from there, come up with your goals, do whatever you can do, consider your behaviors. I don’t know. Both are great. Definitely different levels of time commitment, self reflection, but what they both have in common is they both have that, you know, friendship/family/romantic relationship, like they have this category for these relationships. And I find that so interesting, because I would say that when it comes to friendship community especially, it’s not very common for people to actually consider the actions that are adding up to create an impact in that area of their life. Sure, you might write down that you want to take a trip with friends or see friends or make friends, I don’t know. But what granular things in your everyday life are you doing to impact sustainable change? Not a lot of people are going to have an answer for that question. If you are thinking to yourself, I do not know, well, you are not alone. And I’ve mentioned this before, I accidentally wrote a book. In fact, I will have just turned in another draft of this book when the podcast episode releases. And the book, this is what it talks about. It talks about, how do we check in on all these factors that impact our social wellness? How do we actually figure out actions and habits and everyday changes to impact these relationships? And how do you build the support system, the friendships, the community that you want? However, in this one episode, I don’t have time to give you everything that’s in that book, until I record the audiobook for this book, which I don’t even know how many hours that will be, but it will be multiple hours, the book is well over 200 pages. I can’t fit that all in here. So I really had to sit down and think, what small things can people do in the beginning of the year, to check in on this area of their life, and start to make an impact? Because the book will not be ready. I also think this is great, because, honestly, the book is a lot. That is the feedback I’ve gotten. And I think that’s because this is a very new thing for people to be thinking about and reflecting on. So maybe this episode will just forever live as kind of an entry level way to start thinking about these relationships. You know, the first thing you need to do is kind of decide what kind of friend, what kind of person and community are you. You might have heard, you know, some people talked about having a word of the year. Mine for next year, well, I haven’t quite picked it yet, but it probably has something to do with fun, or being playful, trying to be little more childlike. And then I can look at that word and try and figure out the areas of my life where I’m maybe just taking the risk jumping off the rock going down the slide. Well, you know, what kind of games am I playing, conversations am I having, I can start to see this in my life. Now, if your word was consistent, or peace, you could translate these specifically into friendship, community aspects. You know, if your word is consistency, maybe you make a point of responding to text messages every day, before you go to bed. No more left text messages. Maybe you set a date with yourself that you are going to call a friend once a month, you’re just going to make an impulsive call. But you’re doing it every month, one time. Maybe, you know, if your word is peace, you’re gonna spend the entire next year just being aware of the people in your life that you feel peaceful in their presence. You’re just going to observe and then next you’re going to take action. So the word can be kind of inspiration for what kind of friend or person and community you’re going to be, what you’re looking for, what you’re paying attention to, what kind of awareness you’re bringing. But it also could be, you know, if my word this year is fun, then a person who says is fun this year, I’m gonna make a rule that, you know, a person that is really leaning into fun, I’m gonna say yes to the invite. This year, I’m going out of my way to say yes to the invite. I’m going to do the impulsive things, the spontaneous things. And that’s the kind of person I’m going to be. I say this because we need some sort of vision. You know, a lot of times when you think about friendship or community, people are gonna start setting goals and they’re gonna set goals thinking, oh, I want to make friends or I want to have harmonious relationships. I want to have people that call me all the time. Great. Okay. But what are you doing to bring this into your life? What are you putting out in the world when it comes to your friendships and your community?
Alex Alexander 10:17
Thank you. So often we’re thinking about the other people, when really we should start with ourselves. What are we bringing to the table? What are our positive qualities? What do we have to offer? What are we attracting? What kind of environment are we bringing? What do we want it to feel like, more together with our friends and our community and our family and our people? What does it feel like now? So the point of this, whether you do the word, or you think about what you’re bringing to the table, the point is kind of putting together this vision of what you want long term for this to look like. If you do nothing else, that I’m about to tell you, if you just do that, you are going to be ahead of the crowd. Not many people are thinking about that. So if you do nothing else, consider what your vision of your friendships and community would be like, and how you are acting in them, not just the other people. What are you doing? Okay, so now that we’ve covered kind of this vision piece, why we do this, that you aren’t really taught this, I’m gonna dive in to three check ins you can do to find those small, everyday habits this year that will get you closer to that vision. Made the vision, now we’re going to talk about like, how do we find those small steps. Now note, this is again, a very, very, very, very, very abbreviated version of my book, which will give you something much more extensive, but it’s a great place to start. So before I tell you, these three areas to sit and reflect, as you go through this, it’d be great. If you wanted, if you pulled up the Notes app, or maybe took out a piece of paper, I don’t know, I think you can mark certain parts of the podcast where you want to come back, because you’re probably gonna write these down. And your… the idea is to kind of brainstorm here on these areas. And then at the end, we’re going to cut it down, because you can’t implement all these at once. Small changes. Okay, so the first place to check in is time. Time habits, time boundaries. And now that I’ve said that, again, so many people are thinking about other people. Think about yourself. Think about yourself. The other thing is, so often we think about what we’re going to cut out, what we’re going to get rid of. When you say boundaries, like what boundaries you’re going to set with other people? Keep thinking about yourself, what can we add? What can we trade? What can you do? So, here’s some checking questions. What ways do you like to show up? I’m pretty sure I’ve talked about this before. But so often we, you know, just get all these invites from people or requests. “Can you help me with this?” “Can you go here and do this?” “Can you listen to this?” And a lot of what’s out there that I see is like you know how to say no. Say no, say no. Say no. Okay. Sure. Yes. But what if instead, we focused on the ways you do want to show up this year? What things do you like doing for other people? Are you the friend who is happy to run an extra errand? Are you the friend who is happy to answer questions related to something that you’re pretty much an expert in? Are you like the resource friend? Are you the connector friend? Are you happy to make intros, you know a lot of people? Are you the cooking friend? Like I fall in that category. Somebody needs a meal, something’s going on, we got to stock somebody’s freezer, plan something, host something, I’m that friend. Like what do you like to do? And think about that because what you’re doing is you’re creating ways to offer to the people in your life. So if you decide you’re the errand friend, offer. Like look for opportunities to give to your people as the errand front. You know, you know somebody is busy, overwhelmed with work, moving, whatever. just honestly having a busy week, you say, “Hey, I’m already going to the store, you want to just send me your list?” Maybe you’re like the online errand friend. Like, “Is there anything you’ve been researching lately? Can I just like find something for you? I’m already looking for it.” Like, how can you offer this year in a way that feels good, like in a way that you like showing up for other people, you enjoy doing this? Okay, so the next one was time habits and boundaries is, what are you doing that you could give up time for in order to make time for your relationships, your community, your friendships? You know, how many hours are we all scrolling? How much TV are we watching? Could you set a boundary with yourself that one day a week you’re gonna leave work like an hour earlier? Could you miss one bedtime a month? What could you give up in the name of like, creating just a little space for yourself and these relationships? Alright, the next one for time, habits and boundaries, is it the time together or the admin time that is holding you back? Because there’s admin time involved in friendship and community. All that back and forth of scheduling, the remembering to reach out, the picking the dinner spot, all that kind of stuff. Is it actually that you’ve don’t have time to spend with friends? Or is it the admin time? Because if it’s the admin time, you can create like recurring ways to spend time with friends. So you call each other the first Monday of the month on your drive home. Or you just pick three restaurants and you rotate through them every time you meet up. You call each other where you’re grocery shopping. Like, just make a system for it, and cut out the admin time. Because if that’s what’s holding you back, you’re missing out. Now, if the time itself, if you like do not have time in your life, that’s where you can reflect more on like, what can you give up. But if it’s the admin time, you can spend some time kind of setting up some patterns to save yourself. Next, we’re gonna talk about communication habits and boundaries. So in the digital age, and the time that we live in right now, there are a lot of ways to communicate. You can send voice memos, text messages, phone calls, emails, written things, you can share things back and forth on social media platforms. You could be in a group together, you could spend time in person together. You could be talking to the same friend on four apps. And that’s a lot. There’s a lot to keep track of. So how can you simplify your communication so that it’s actually working for you? So the first thing to consider is look at your platforms. How many ways are you communicating with people? How many email addresses do you have? How many apps are you using? How many threads can you simplify? It might be that you would respond back if it was all just in one place. But when we’re tugged with our attention all over the place, and we turn off our notifications, things like that, like maybe it’s worth having some conversations with friends and saying, “There are too many platforms, I’m only using this one to talk to you. Can we just share everything here.” So, do a little audit on the ways you’re communicating with people. Have some conversations, set some boundaries, take just like a moment of mental thought to simplify this piece for yourself. The next communication habits is potentially consolidating groups. This kind of goes with the platforms. But if you are in a variety of formal communities, have like some various friend text threads. Consider if there’s a way, you know, where maybe everything like filters into a folder or forwards from one communication app to another, so you’re not having to check to everything is ending up maybe in your inbox.
Want to learn more about how we are connected with friends? Read about my Roots Framework.
Alex Alexander 19:53
Like it might be worth 30 minutes to figure out how to automate this in a way that makes it more efficient. That would maybe lead to you in this year. No longer having to say to yourself, I am a bad friend, because I never text anybody back. You might be able to fix that. Like, actually you might not be that you are a bad friend. In fact, it’s very unlikely that you’re a bad friend and more so just that, like, it’s too much. It’s too much. So the next one that has to do with time is to sit down and consider how you can find those recurring patterns, like scheduling time, how you schedule things. So I mentioned this before, you know, if you want to be better about responding to people, can you set aside 20 minutes every night where you respond to text messages? You go to bed with texts, inbox zero. If you want to connect more with a certain group or certain friends, can you schedule that you see them the first Sunday of every month at 9pm or 9am? How can you set this stuff up in your life, so that you aren’t having to remember it anymore? So that it’s just going to automatically happen? You know, a lot of people schedule date nights with romantic partners. What if you picked one time, a week, a month, a quarter, whatever, and those are the nights that you reach out to people and say, “Hey, I blocked off every other Thursday. Is there one coming up that you could make work to meet up?” You know, they say they’ll think about putting your gym time in your calendar. Whether or not you put in your calendar, but just like create a pattern for yourself to make space for this in your life. Because otherwise, if you’re not thinking about it, if you’re not making space for it, it’s not a priority. And over time, these relationships are gonna fizzle probably. One final tip, and this isn’t really reflection, but I wrote this down. I have been known to use something like Doodle to schedule times with people or like, groups. You could do this with Calendly, too. If you’re not going to make normal increments to do things, I get it. Maybe sending out a Doodle poll to a group of friends about what night in the next month works for everybody seems a little impersonal. But if the choice is between getting the group together or not, and the admin time is the problem, then wouldn’t it be better to just sacrifice a little bit? The other piece about the communication and habits is like when you are with your people, if you’re reflecting back, is everybody present? Is the TV on all the time? Are you doing enjoyable activities? Are you talking? Or are you just together? Because sometimes people are making time, but the time doesn’t feel very connected. I have these thoughts about catching up versus actively doing something together. You know, when you’re catching up with someone, you are just regaling them with the highlights of your recent life. When you’re doing something, you are making memories in the present, you’re in the moment. You’re hitting the tennis ball, you’re trying the class. I think that we actually make memories when we are in the present doing things. And quite often, when we’re just regaling each other with our recent past, that’s not very memorable. And although there’s some level of intimacy there in sharing back and forth, you’re not actually doing life together. And that is where all those like really fond memories come from, is doing life together. So when you’re reflecting on your communications, habits, boundaries, how does the time you’re spending with people actually feel? Are you connecting? Are you talking? Are you doing stuff together? Are you making memories? Do you have tangible memories from this last year in like the ways that you’re spending time with your people? If yes, great. W, what things are working? If no, then what might you want to change? Do you want to start suggesting some activities to do together? Do you want to have a conversation about turning the TV off, getting out of the house? Sitting down with a board game instead of watching another episode. And it’s obviously… I’m talking about community and friendship, but I think a lot of what I talked about can apply to all the areas of our life. So, you could just reflect on that as a whole. That is definitely something I have reflected on, I would say, in the last two years and tried to consciously make some changes. Okay, so then the third and final reflection section is, what do you want to add? I just really feel like a lot of the conversation out there is about how we are narrowing, cutting people out, setting boundaries with other people. And yes, yes, that stuff is necessary. But when you’re so focused on it, what are you filling that space? with? Are you filling it with meaningful things? Are you filling it with things that even fall in this social wellness category? Or is that time getting filled with TV? Work? What are you using that time for instead? Sometimes I think that if we focus more on what we can add to this area of our life, then the things that we don’t want, will just kind of start to fall away. Because we will have less time, less energy for those things. They won’t be as present and in our view. And instead, these new things that we are adding will be where our attention is. So we will see those, and we will feel the effects. So if you’re going to add, I’m going to kind of break this in. This applies for the most part to, if your goal this year is to make some new friends. There’s also, you know, you want to kind of reinvest energy and time and whatnot connection into current friendships. A lot of these principles apply to both. So, first one is what do you want to do together? It goes to that shared experience roots that I talked about. So if you want to build new friends, friendships, find new community. What do you want to do with these people? Because so often, I will hear from people and they will just say, “Well, I want to make some new friends.” Okay. To do what with? To talk about what with? How are you spending time with them? Focusing on what you’re going to do also makes it easier to have a reason to say, “Hey, do you want to hang out and go paddleboarding?” “Do you want to get together and try this new pottery class?” “Are you also going to this community event?” So, what are you doing together? And this also applies to friendships, you want to maybe like reinvest in this year. What do you want to do with those people? So if you have a friend and you use to work together, let’s say, and you don’t work together anymore, what shared interests can you find so that it’s not just lunches to catch up, but you actually have a reason to spend more time together, doing things that matter in your life? So if it’s a work friend, you know, that… that might be meeting up once a month to do some sort of career accountability. Maybe you both love running, so you just totally pivot and you ask if this person wants to run with you once a week. So those friendships are feeling sticky, a little weird, a little different. Maybe consider some new ways to spend time together. So, the next one is kind of like new areas of life to share. And that’s what I wrote down. This has to do with the emotional intimacy roots. So if you are adding, remember we are adding, that’s we’re focused on, what areas of life do you wish you were connecting with people more about, you had more support in, you could share in? This could be your mission to have more fun this year. It could be doing things with your kids exploring a new career path, traveling together. I get that those are kind of those shared experience roots.
Alex Alexander 29:20
But the shared experience roots is just like you go do these activities. The emotional intimacy piece is there’s kind of something bigger here. Maybe you have big financial goals this year and you want to get a group together, where every month you check in on how you’re approaching those financial goals. That’s a lot of intimacy, vulnerability, and you could do it on your own. Sure. Or you could find a group of people and that could be people you know, that could be new people. That could be like a group of some sort, an online community. Check in on the the goals that you have for this year are the circumstances of life that you’re currently in. And consider where you might go to find people to connect with over these areas of your life that you want to connect about, that you want to change, that you want to not feel alone in. And these might overlap with those shared experience roots. Like you might have written in the shared experience roots piece. Like what do you want to go do with new friends? You want to travel. Okay, maybe you’re single, and you’ve been holding back till you’re in relationship to travel and you’re tired of holding yourself back. So now, you want to go find people. Well, traveling with people is a little bit of a vulnerable act. So you consider like, what kind of travel do you want to do with them? And you just like narrow it down. If you want to travel more, what friends could you talk to, maybe you have friends, and you can kind of create that new connection with friends that you already have? So, we’ve covered the shared experience, we’ve covered where we’re adding with emotional intimacy. The final one is those story roots, the beliefs, the expectations we have. Now, quite often, this is definitely an area where people are going to… the boundaries piece, the cutting people off, the scaling back. And sure, yes, do that. But if we’re talking about adding, are their friendship friendships, you know, where you’re maybe saying, well, we used to really show up for each other and it just doesn’t feel that way anymore? So the adding piece of that, the way to maybe combat that without just cutting this friend off would be reflecting and saying, “Okay, is there a conversation that we could try having first? Can I sit down and consider what actions would support that expectation? Do I want to consider maybe revamping this belief? Maybe it’s we always show up for each other and now it’s… you’re revamping the expectation like we live across the country, we can’t show up for each other in all the same ways? We can always show up for each other via text message and phone call, but getting on a plane just is not feasible right now. But doing that, like spending the time to think about that, how you can add, like you’re not cutting off those friendships? You are adding energy maybe for that one, actually having the conversations. And they don’t need to be big conversations, it could just be actually like discussing this with a friend. Trying to see if you can re-evaluate, reconnect on things that don’t feel right. So I’ve covered some checking questions on your time, on your communication and on places you can add. And if you kept up while I did all that, you may be paused and have this big list. Here’s big list. And it probably feels overwhelming, especially if you’ve never really sat down and reflected on these relationships. If you haven’t kept up, I might suggest going through and doing this reflection. Then after you’ve done this, just like any other goal, running a marathon, writing a book, getting your financial picture in order, having an ideal support system is one, ever evolving. And two, I would say it’s like a run-a-marathon type goal. So you can’t expect this to change overnight. It is a slow and steady process, is a new way of thinking. These are new habits, new ways of operating. But I do think that it’s just like any other of those big goals. As, you know, it just kind of becomes a way that you are. You run a marathon, like you’re a runner, and sure there might be periods of time where you don’t run. But eventually, maybe you can put back on your shoes and find the consistency to get back out every day. Like you identify as that person. And that’s what we’re doing here. You are rewriting slowly but surely, that you are the person that does these little things that add up to create that vision you created in the beginning. But we don’t want to go too hard. We don’t want to take all of these on at the same time because then if you can’t carry them out, you won’t feel like the person that you wrote down in your vision. And it is more important to do little things and feel like that person, like you are working your way there, than it is to do it all at once. So now that you’ve gone through, when you’ve done all this reflection, you have some ways to maybe consolidate your apps or one new way you want to do things like an activity with friends, you know, one way you want to show up. You have this big list. Big list. You’re gonna go through, and you are just going to pick like the top one, maybe two from each of your reflection questions. And then you’re going to pick no more, no more than three, overall. Like your top three, for whatever reason. You’re gonna write them down, you’re gonna put them somewhere that you see them all the time. And if they involve scheduling, you’re gonna spend the time to figure out the schedule for that and put them in your calendar. And you’re going to make them so small, hopefully, that it would be near impossible to not do them to, like, disappoint yourself. So be realistic, don’t go wild. If you have too many commitments, and you write down that you’re gonna make time every week, maybe just every month, or every other week, whatever it is, scale it down. Because the real goal is to get to the end of the three months and feel like you have done things to impact change in this area of your life, that you are becoming that person, that you are that person. So you want to do this for about three months. At three months, check in. Did you do the things? Great. Pick three more from your list. I don’t think you’d need to necessarily redo this entire activity every three months. Once or twice a year is probably enough. But you can continue to come back to this list and start implementing these things. And slowly over time, you can become this person. You can start to see your social wellness. And these relationships are something you can impact. You can move through your day, adding in these little habits, thinking in different ways. We’re going to use the financial goal as an example. You know, nobody that wants to like revamp their financial picture, just does it immediately. You set up the systems. Well, actually step back, you don’t even know what the systems are. You probably do a check in on what your current financial picture is, you probably find some resources, which is what you’re doing by listening to this podcast, you make a couple of small changes. And over time it compounds to whatever that financial goal is. We need to start seeing our friendship community social wellness similarly. This is just something we start to implement into our daily lives. And that over time, will prove to ourselves that we’re the kind of friend and community participant that we want to be, that if we change who we want to be, we can rethink that and then consider the actions that would get us there. And this episode, this exercise is doing just that. Thank you so much for being here for this adventure. I’m really excited about 2023. If I’m being honest, I have spent multiple years now speaking of a slow and steady journey, building this foundation of all the things I talked about, on the podcast on my website on my social media, and it’s all coming together. I’m so excited this year for all the things that I’m going to share the conversations I’m going to have with you. 2023 is going to be good. I hope you feel that way too.
Alex Alexander 29:31
Thank you for listening to this episode of Friendship IRL. I am so honored to have these conversations with you. But don’t let the chat die here. Send me a voice message. I created a special website just to chat with you. You can find it at alexalex.chat. You can also find me on Instagram. My handle, @itsalexalexander. Or go ahead and leave a review wherever you prefer to listen to podcasts. Now if you want to take this conversation a step further, send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting. And use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out. No need for a teary Goodbye. I’ll be back with a new episode next week.